Would you walk up to my casket and kiss me.....

Getting lost in your head tends to be the safest alternative. I can sit here and get lost in front of anyone but very few can follow my fucked up way of thinking. A needle can tear a hole as long as you let it. I thought that love could be sweet until you manage to turn it sour. Who would have thought? It shouldn't have to be like this. I stay lost on purpose. One day you may just wake up and realize that shit. I created a monster... Yes I did...

I've lost my ability to try...

Lets get one thing straight. I don't do this stupid love shit for a reason. Getting twisted and caught up is not exactly something I ever wanted. Im good with protecting myself from everyone. I've done it for years and breaking that habit isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to do. Now that some dumb ass part of me wants to let go all of my protective measures I get stopped dead in my tracks. I know my side I know where im coming from but I have no fucking idea about the other piece of the puzzle. Im scared. What part of that is so hard to understand?  Isn't it common now? Do you really think a woman that's worth a damn is going to trust your ass? It a not very likely. In an effort not to hold anyone's past against them im still here. All I want to do is run the fuck away from all of this. Something just keeps holding me here I don't know what and im starting to hate it. God does every thing for a reason and lets face it.... this shit is beyond the point of being out of my hands. All I can do is sit back and pray begging for an explanation of why the fuck there has to be so much pain involved in this god damn situation. If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger doesn't seem worth it right now. I understand im just living in the present but that's all im guaranteed ever. Can it really be seen that wrong? Fuck it... I can never do anything right and im starting to feel worth with you than with anyone else. I get it im not an easy person to deal with but someone has to be able to see this shit. I know you cant because its easier to see what you want to see than it is to see what's really in front of you.