Backwards

So, I think I realized that right now this doesn't make any sense. You sit around and do nothing all day. You seriously in your head think it's okay that you don't do anything at all to help me. I'm tired and worn out but still no help. I am so tired of hearing how you work so damn hard when you don't put half of what I do in. Shit does not get handed to you in life. Can we please figure that out? You are such a spoiled brat who can not cope in life. Everything is someone else fault. It's ridiculous. I am so tired of waiting for you to grow up and be an adult it's not funny. Everything is always boo hoo my life sucks. Now, in reality your life is pretty nice, but I have to keep in mind you're a spoiled little brat who never grew up. I don't understand how so many people in this world can actually sit back and act like a complete fool and it's okay. I know I really should have left you by now and I keep promising myself that it's going to happen. When we met everything was great. You were great. Something changed or maybe I just figured out you're nothing  but a liar. You can explain all you want on why you're doing better now. Honestly, I really don't see how I can ever trust someone who threw everything away like it never happened. I get told I did it, I caused it. Logically you are wrong and I know that, but really I just hate listening to you bitch. I maybe 2 years younger than you, but act much older. You made me something I hate and I really want what I used to be back. Worthless men cheat, lie, steal, use, and abuse. What does this make you? Yet here I am trying once again to see if this will work. It is a never ending cycle of hell. I am miserable in my own mind. Every time the trust comes back you break it. You fuck it all up. You ruin everything I worked on. I begged for years and now you want to act right. I really don't get it. Supposedly you can do so much better. Then please by all means do better. No one would deal with this shit unless their stupid. Can something this shattered ever look the same after being glued back together? No, I think not. That's what I have become something tiny and meaningless in the back of your head. While you are out there doing what ever you want, acting however you see fit. Look back and remember who has always been there and who has always ended up on top. Deep down I know you can never treat me how I deserve to be treated. Part of me is begging for the abuse. I really don't get it. How can I be this stupid. I can't breath with you suffocating me.