Or is it??? Hes still asleep and has been all night. I'm sitting here trying to analyze this night. I'm not sure if he wanted me to stay, but i decided to anyway. This morning everyone is gone. I guess at work. I'm sitting on the couch and he's upstairs asleep. I known I'm becoming too attached. Its becoming impossible to walk away. I know whatn he's capable of and I know I most likely deserve better, but I remain content in this situation. I can't tell him what I want to and I keep thinking I'm not good enough for him. Most of this situation is out of my hands but I like not having control of everything. A lot more people know about our situation than I thought so I just keep my mouth shut. This is not what this was supposed to be and sometimes I wish he would just be open with me. Sometimes I think he's lying to cover up the truth, but I keep trusting him regardless of the doubt I have in certain situations. I get on here and type to my hearts content because its easier than being tossed asside. He tells me over and over I should have walked away when I found out about his breakup but by the time I found out how serious it was I was in too deep. Now I'm too the point that I'm afraid of losing him. He managed to become such a large part of my life and I'm not sure how it happened. I'm giving him a chance and this maybe his last. He pushed that limit and I think he knows he did. I can take a lot but I'm not going back to where I was before. People see the negative in him but I see much more. I don't want to be wrong and I hope at least one good thing does come out of this. Its been over a month of constantly still dealing with him and only him. I let him do what he wants and needs to see that I'm not abusing his trust. Though he flips out over the dumbest shit and fails to see who and what I really am. I don't think he's dumb enough to believe the shit I think its just his emotions getting the best of him.
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